2:38

Democrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It's Our Turn

The Onion

2:36

Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself

The Onion

2:33

Romney, Santorum Supporters To Beat Living Shit Out Of Each Other At Montana Primary

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2:58

Romney's Super Tuesday Polls Surge After He Begins Flaunting His Wealth

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3:07

Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage For Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick

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2:29

Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook

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3:01

Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone

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2:28

Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot

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2:40

Tea Party Quiet... Too Quiet

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3:11

Ron Paul Makes Campaign Stop In Whimsical Jalopy

The Onion

2:54

Reporters Struggling To Maintain Energy Until Election

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2:45

GOP Trying To Keep Elderly Voting Base Alive Until November

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2:46

Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up For Flood Of Closeted Republicans

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2:13

Romney's Terrifying Google Search History Leaked

The Onion

2:23

New GOP Smartphone App Streamlines Voter Discrimination In Swing States

The Onion

1:31

Real Americans Square Off With The Candidates In The 2012 DemocraKiosk Debate

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1:00

New High Tech Voting Machine Lets Voters Mutilate Candidate They Oppose

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2:42

America's Roommates Launch 'One Vote Doesn't Matter' Campaign

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1:34

Paul Ryan Spending Final Day Of Campaign Reminding Homeless People They Did This To Themselves

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2:07

How To Avoid Unbearable Facebook Bullshit On Election Day

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1:49

Romney Wins, Obama Reelected, Supernova Destroys Earth All Possibilities In A Random Universe

The Onion

2:38

After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016

The Onion