1:43

FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You

The Onion

1:43

The Onion's Tips For Fall Fashion

The Onion

1:52

'The Internship' Poised To Be Biggest Comedy Of 2005

The Onion

4:19

Popular Children's Book Author Reveals The 'Spooky Truth' About Creepy Conspiracy Theories

The Onion

1:22

Couple Making Out At Bus Stop Like It's Fucking Paris

The Onion

1:29

Story Of Small Businessman Struggling Under Obama Administration Draws To Close

The Onion

1:20

CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

The Onion

1:55

New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

The Onion

3:22

A Recap Of This Week's Royal Baby Coverage

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1:39

Man Didn't Expect Sex With Prostitute Would Be So Emotionally Fulfilling

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1:45

Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House

The Onion

1:44

Back Of Library Smells Like Weed

The Onion

2:38

The Onion Looks Back At 'The Wizard Of Oz'

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1:28

The Onion's Tips For Succeeding As A Woman In The Workplace

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1:06

Man Has Alarming Level Of Pride In Institution That Left Him In Debt, Unprepared For Job Market

The Onion

1:04

Study Reveals Conditions In Women's Prisons Deplorably Unsexy

The Onion

1:02

Man Says 'Fuck It,' Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M.

The Onion

2:42

Colorado Boy Asks Nation Not To Find His Missing Little Brother

The Onion

1:34

Guy Wondering How Much Longer To Keep Picture Of Dead Friend As Profile Pic

The Onion

1:24

Guy With 10,000 Tweets, 15 Followers About Ready To Hang It Up

The Onion

2:30

Bloomberg Defends NYPD's Controversial Stop And Kiss Program

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2:43

The Onion Reviews 'Lee Daniels' The Butler'

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1:18

Cutest Guy In Whole Office Not Even Particularly Attractive

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3:04

Amazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For Once

The Onion

2:27

The Onion Reviews '12 Years A Slave'

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0:57

Shady New Wendy's Deal Offering Five Hamburgers For Free, No Questions Asked

The Onion

0:52

New Miss America In Danger Of Losing Crown After Officials Uncover Details From Her Sordid Future

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2:57

The Onion Reviews 'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire'

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3:35

The Onion Reviews 'Gravity'

The Onion

0:46

Pope Francis Resigns

The Onion

1:07

Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts

The Onion

0:36

Physicists Confirm They Have Found And Killed The 'God Particle'

The Onion

1:19

Kanye West Confirms He's Working On New Solo Child

The Onion

1:16

Obama Issues Presidential Pardon To Get Biden Out Of Jail For Third Time This Year

The Onion

0:50

Johnny Depp Now Completely Made Of Scarves And Bracelets

The Onion

1:12

Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands

The Onion

1:09

Jodie Foster Inspires Teens To Come Out Using Vague, Rambling Riddles

The Onion

1:15

Man Doesn't Know How Parents Ever Going To Pay Off Massive Student Loan Debt

The Onion

1:11

Mayan Word For 'Apocalypse' Actually Translates More Accurately As 'Time Of Pale Obese Gun Monsters'

The Onion

2:23

Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Cafe Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?

The Onion