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Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air

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2:37

Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself

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Boy Loses Leg In Totally Awesome Shark Attack

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Dead Wife And Kids Replaced By Miniature Horses

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Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall

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Chinese Paint Tops List Of This Year's Must-Have Holiday Gifts

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Jim And Tracy Put On Fat Suits To See What Life Is Really Like For Awful Fat People

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Celebrity Chef Ted Allen Cooks His Favorite Pretentious Foodie Bullshit Meal

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2:50

Millions Irrationally Feared Dead In Minor Train Accident

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Today Now!: Save Money By Taking A Vacation Entirely In Your Mind

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3:13

Missing Teen's Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates

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2:25

Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"

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2:40

How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him

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2:16

Annual Valentine's Day Stoning Of Happy Couple Held

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2:46

New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'

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2:11

Chinese Gossip Blogger Fights For Freedom To Post Celebrity Up-Skirt Photos

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2:12

Oprah Invites Hundreds Of Lucky Fans To Be Buried With Her In Massive Tomb

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2:30

Bird Hunted To Near Extinction Due To Infuriating 'Fuck You' Call

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2:46

How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You're Banging On The Side

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Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures

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3:05

Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody

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2:56

Census Visits Providing Shut-Ins Once-A-Decade Chance For Human Interaction

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Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization

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2:38

Human Rights Group Campaigns To End Use Of Child Politicians In Africa

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2:18

Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq

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2:38

Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee

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3:09

Today Now! Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris

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3:07

How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping, Severing Your Spine

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2:41

Police Say School Shooter Had History Of School Shootings

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2:47

Man Who Crossed US In Balloon Only Talks About Horse Abuse

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3:32

NASA Simulator Preps Astronauts For Larry King Interview

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12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams

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2:41

Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars

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2:46

Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV

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'Cosmopolitan' Completes Study On How To Please Your Man

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2:58

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Presidency

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3:00

Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

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3:29

Diet Book Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet'

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2:58

Software Indicates Missing Child Likely A Prostitute By Now

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2:17

Tracy Gill Recommends New Tracy Gill Biography

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2:54

FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan

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2:55

Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters

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2:25

Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation

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Lilly Wins Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene

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Fat Kid Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt

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3:04

Amazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For Once

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0:39

Today Now! Is Back

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2:54

How To Channel Your Road Rage Into Cold, Calculating Road Revenge

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2:52

Parenting Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Raise Your Own Goddamn Kids

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Romantic Boyfriend Surprises Girlfriend With Valentine’s Day Love Labyrinth

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This Week On Today Now!

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